Think of those you love: your friends and family, children and grandchildren and even your pet dog or cat. When we think of those we love and why we love them, we feel all warm and fuzzy inside. As the old advertisement says, we have a strong desire to “Reach out and touch someone”.When we think of loving ourselves, few of us have that same warm and fuzzy feeling. We are likely to think of those extra ten pounds or dirty dishes in the sink or a promise we made to ourselves and did not keep. We hear the negative voices in the back of our head that are way too eager to tell us all our faults and shortcomings and why we can never be good enough anyway. What does radical self love mean to you?

As women, many of us were taught, in fact, it was so drilled into us that we did not even realize it, that we were second rate. Yes, we were taught that we were second class and everyone else was first class. A whole generation of women was taught that we were to put ourselves second. We did not even question that belief and many of us still unconsciously believe it’s true. We still believe that we will never be good enough.

What does radical self love mean to you? For many the answer maybe it is for others and not for me. After all, why should I want to love myself, I’m such a mess, and I’m a loser. Isn’t that selfish in anyway? When we don’t believe in ourselves we become our own worst enemy trapped by our own beliefs. Radical self love means that you are okay just the way you are. How would your life be different if you truly believed that you are okay just the way you are?

For women in midlife radical self love can be freeing. Instead of always worrying about our spouses or children or grandchildren and putting them first without even considering our own needs or desires we can take care of ourselves. Radical self love means it’s time to love and appreciate ourselves. Our needs and desires and dreams are important. It is safe and it is time to stop letting others determine our value and the way we feel about ourselves. Radical self love is not about devaluing others. It is about saying no to allowing others and ourselves to put us down leaving us feeling less than others. It is about saying yes to who we are, yes to asking for what we want. And yes to following your dreams. What does radical self love mean to you? Isn’t it time for you to say yes to radical self love?

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