Today I choose to own my own my inner champion, my own superhero, my own knight in shining armor. Like many of my fellow recovering people pleasers, I have spent too much of my life waiting for another to take care of me, provide me with enough money, or advise me on what to do next. People pleasers spend lots of time taking care of others because they are not sure how to take care of themselves. Recovering people pleasers take 100% responsibility for their lives.
That little girl that part of me, I call her Ruby the Red Knight, spent many years searching for someone to love her, protect her and take care of her. She learned to be Ruby the Red Knight by taking care of others. She did her best to make her dysfunctional family functional. My little girl, aka Ruby the Red Knight, keeps hope alive that someday she will be taken care of, will be parented or loved by another to fill that vast empty space around her heart. As people pleasers, we have spent our lives searching for the love we always wanted to fill that empty hole inside us. Along the way, we have found many things to fill that hole but they were always temporary fixes. The hole can only be filled when we give ourselves the love and attention we need and desire.
I’m not alone in that many women consciously or unconsciously feel the same way, searching for someone to give them the love they never received. We get into marriages with the wrong partner. We use all our people pleasing skills to make them feel loved so that they in return will love us, yet, in the end, they resent us instead.
Time To Own Your Inner Champion
The only solution is NOT to find a person who will love us or save us or keep us safe and secure: but, TO BE that person. We are the champion, the superhero, the one who will take care of us and solve our problems. We are the one we have been looking for all along. We can choose to make a commitment to ourselves to own our power. It’s time to own our magnificence.
The buck stops here. We can provide our own solutions, ask the questions we need to have answered to move forward, take action and ask for help as needed. We can forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, stop beating ourselves up, stop seeing ourselves as unworthy. We can move forward and take action.
I hate the phrase, “put on your big girl panties,” yet it fits. It’s time to stop complaining about what is wrong and stop waiting to be rescued. It is time to be our own champion, our own superhero.
Where are you stuck?
Are you afraid or success or failure or being vulnerable or all of the above and more? What is keeping you from moving forward, from making your dreams come true?
Write down all the reasons and all the ways you are stuck. Give each of those reasons a name. Get them out of your head. Make them real. Befriend them.
- Draw them,
- Talk to them,
- Take them on a walk,
- Explore them.
- Give them a hug.
Then switch to your inner champion, that superhero inside you. Ruby the Red Knight has a different job now. She is my inner champion. She’s willing to move forward, to bravely take action. Listen to the solutions as your inner champion speaks. Even if the solution is, we need to talk to someone else. Take action. Commit to taking one small, tiny, microscopic step today. What are you willing to do today?
Whatever has blocked you from being who you are or what you most want to be and from achieving your dreams doesn’t have to block you anymore. Now is the time to play big, to own your magnificence time to commit to yourself. If not now when?