You’d like your relationship to be better, but you’re not sure where to start. Relationships may be steeped in drama, or we may have lost a part of ourselves trying to please others or we may constantly be trying to fix our partners. We may be stuck in old patterns that keep us fearful and unhappy Each strategy is bound to fail or to keep us and our partner miserable. Before you ditch your relationship, try these three keys to relationship harmony.
1. Replace Relationship Drama With Relationship Harmony
It’s easy to get into the blame and shame game, blaming our partner for what is not going right in the relationship. We jump on the drama triangle as a villain, victim or hero. As a villain, we point our finger at our partner and blame and shame him for all the relationships problems.
As a victim, we feel at the effect of everything happening outside of us and we cling to the victim mode, waiting for our partner or someone else to come in and save the day. As victims, we feel out of control. Or we jump to the hero place trying to please our partner and make them like us and we take full responsibility for trying to make the marriage work. Conflict is a normal part of relationships. It is how we deal with it that makes a difference.
2. Own Your Magnificence
Are you playing small? What would it take to be your best selfNot owning your gifts and talents or perhaps your feel you have lost a sense of meaning and purpose. Am I willing to be fully myself?
Are you unhappy with how your life is going and feeling that just getting out of the marriage would make life better? Maybe it is not the marriage. Maybe you have given up on yourself. You may have lost yourself somewhere along the way and are not being true to who you are and what you want. Trying to be something we are not grows old, eventually, we become resentful. It’s hard to be happy in a marriage when you are not happy with yourself. Isn’t it time you owned your magnificence?
3. Accept Your Partner “As Is.”
- You can see the potential in your partner he’s a terrific guy “if only.”
- If only he would get a job.
- If only he would spend more time with the kids.
- If only he would stop drinking.
- If only he would spend more time with me.
- If only he made more money.
- If only he lost weight.
The list goes on and on. Our partners are not fixer-upper opportunities they come as is. We may ask our partner to change a potential behavior and they may or may not choose to change that behavior. We have to determine what behaviors are deal breakers and which ones we can live with.
What Creates Relationship Harmony For YOU?
For each and every one of us deciding what makes a relationship work and what makes one fail is up to us. As a relationship coach, I have seen marriages fail that on paper looked like perfect matches and I have seen marriages succeed beyond all expectations where the odds were against it. Only you can decide what will make your marriage work or fail. The three keys to relationship harmony include: relationship drama or harmony, owning your magnificence and accepting your partner as is. Improving one or all of these key may make a marriage difference in the state of your marital bliss.
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