Having been 39 more than a few times now, I certainly qualify for a woman in midlife. Part of each birthday I spend in reflection on what are my top goals or focus areas for the coming year. First, at midlife, we have gained wisdom from our experiences both successes and failures. And secondly, we still have time to choose to either continue or to change the direction of our lives. Not only business goals but also personal goals, what kind of person do I want to be and how do I choose to live my life. Fortunately, there is always time for midlife course corrections.
It’s never too late to be who you were meant to be.
My top three focus areas for this year are integrity, connection, and good health. My goals may have nothing to do with your goals, and that is fine. I trust that you know what is most important for you. I do encourage you to think about what you are willing to commit to in the next 12 months or even try it for one month. Remember Ben Franklin. He had 13 virtues that he rotated practicing one a week so that he could focus on each four times a year. http://www.thirteenvirtues.com
Living Life in Integrity
Many of my clients have struggled with issues of trust, either being worthy of trust or able to trust others. My top value is honesty. Integrity is walking my talk, my words and actions matching. Integrity is also not trying to control or be controlled by another. That is not taking more or less than 100% responsibility for our actions. Am I coming from an authentic place and not trying to do or be someone I am not?
I found myself in somewhat of a funk as I realized that what I say and what I do don’t always match. As a life coach, I empower clients by being in alignment so that their words, thoughts, actions and feelings and goals all match. That is being in integrity and being one’s authentic self. Taking time for a course correction, to make sure that we are on track, is a worthwhile exercise for all of us.
My action step is to check on an ongoing basis, nightly, whether or not I am integrity. Am I walking my talk? Am I taking less than or more than 100% responsibility for my actions? Am I being my authentic self or stuck in a people pleasing role of trying to make other’s happy?
My goal is not to stay stuck out of integrity or in a victim or people pleasing place, but to switch my actions. To stop drifting and to shift, so that once again I am in integrity and in alignment with my values, goals and who I want to be.
Taking Care of My Body
I do not need to run marathons or compete, but I want my body to work and function. I want to do what I can to stay healthy. For those with avid fitness goals these goals may seem weak and for those couch potatoes, this may seem way over the top.
My action steps: I commit to walking 10,000 steps per day or 5,000 and an exercise class or other comparable activity. I also commit to eating healthy at least 60% of the time. I love food, and if I have at least two healthy meals with lots of green and colorful vegetables, I’m off to a great start.
My goal is to have more energy and stamina and to be able to keep up with my walking and hiking buddies.
Valuing Deep Connection
As an introvert, I value my time alone. In fact, it’s easy for me to spend too much time alone. Much of my life I’ve been a loner and I’m ready for a change. I also value deep, meaningful connection with friends and family. I value laughter and conversation and all the better if it is over a great meal. I also value being an active part of my community.
My action steps involve going out with friends or to new activities several times each week or month.
My goal is simple deepening connection and having more fun.
What Are Three Focus Areas or Goals You Have?
Now it’s your turn. My hope is that this has inspired you to think about what is most important in your life. For years I taught workshops and participants would tell me family was most important, but when I asked how they spend their time, time with family would often be near the bottom. What do you consider most important? Are there changes you could make in your life so that what you say is reflects how you live your life? Isn’t it time for you to walk your talk.
Think about what is most important in your life? Do your actions, thoughts and how you spend your time match up with what you say is most important to you? This is not necessarily an easy exercise, but it could provide you with some excellent direction as you consider your own midlife course corrections.
An unexamined life is not worth living.
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