On a clear day, it seems like we can see forever, nothing to get in our way or cloud our vision. When we have that same clarity in who we want, nothing gets in our way. When we are by ourselves, we can make decisions without upsetting others. It is easier to make decisions that are in alignment with who we are, with our authentic self.
Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no? Have you ever made an agreement you felt you should make but not when you wanted to make? Not making or even asking for clear agreements leaves us feeling wobbly, out of integrity with ourselves and with others. We end up feeling frustrated.
Gain Clarity: Know Yourself & What You Want
When I pass on chocolate donuts or go to the gym or finish the report that seems to drag on forever or make the difficult phone call instead of putting it off, I am pleased with myself. I have a full body yes. I have an open spacious feeling and feel at peace. I am pleased with myself.
When we make a decision that is not right for us we may feel tension in our bodies. Our follow-through is hesitant, because we are doing something that in our heart of hearts we do not want to do. We say yes to completing that report due tomorrow when we know we need at least three more days or we take a job because we need one even though it’s not what we want and it doesn’t fit us at all or we do what our spouse or kids ask because we feel that is what is expected of us. We feel a jingle, a disconnect and a frustration.
As we grow into being in integrity with ourselves, it becomes easier to stay in alignment and to value our own voice. We come from an authentic place. The decisions we make, the agreements we make with others match our own wants and desires. We can say yes and we can also say no.
Clarity in who we are and what we want is a delightful knowing and feeling. Clarity allows us to have the courage and confidence to follow through to take the next action step and then the next. We take action steps that are authentic and in alignment with who we are and what we want.
When I am by myself, it’s easy to notice the wobble when I become out of alignment with who I am and what I want and what I have chosen to do. My body tenses I lose that feeling at ease and spaciousness.
When We Lose Ourselves
When we are with others we may feel a pull, we want to do what is right for us and also we want to please others, to make them happy. It’s become easy to lose who we are without even realizing what is happening.
Years and years or even decades of not having clarity on who we are what we want leaves us with a compromised internal guidance system makes it difficult for us to trust her own yeses and noes. We need to clean the pipes. How would you car run if you never changed the oil or how well could you see if you never cleaned your glasses? Likewise we need to clear our internal guidance system so that our wants and our actions become an alignment with our authentic selves.