Amidst the twinkling lights and what we have and haven’t done, we find it easy to beat ourselves up. Two weeks left in 2014. Not enough time. We feel rushed and pressured. We notice how we did not meet our own and others expectations. We may have gone through a major life transition: death of a loved one, divorce, job loss or a major realization that where we are in life is not where we want to be. We may have failed to reach our goals. We’re stuck on life’s disappointments.
Let’s take a look at 2014 through a different lens.
Life happens. We each get to choose what we are going to do about it.
Life happens and much of what happens outside of us we have no control over. It’s not what happens to us but what HOW WE REACT to what happens that makes the difference. What we choose to do about it. Yes, bad things happen to all of us. Playing the “who has it worse” game doesn’t get us anywhere and just keeps us stuck in our misery. What we choose to do, our ability to bounce back is our resiliency factor. By the luck of the draw, all that nature and nurture stuff, some of us have greater resiliency than others. The good news is that for all of us, we can increase our resiliency factor.
Blame is optional.
Take 100% responsibility and own your power.
We can learn from what happened and take 100% responsibility for our part or we can blame others for our misery. When we blame others, we lose our power, we feel miserable, our lives stay the same or get worse and we are not much fun to be around. We can stomp around moping or getting mad or we can take 100% responsibility for our actions. We can choose to change our behavior and to make choices that we feel good about. Yes, if something happens, it’s okay to feel mad or sad or scared, in fact even appropriate. We don’t have to put on a smile and pretend it never happened. We need to mourn or deal with our anger or be sad, and we can deal with those strong feelings in a way that helps us move forward instead of keeping us stuck in victim mode.
Ask for support.
Be interdependent not independent or dependent.
Having a big dream is amazing and exciting. If our dream is big enough we actually need support to make it happen. If we are going through a difficult time the support of friends or family can make a big difference. Be realistic in what part you can do or even want to do and ask for help with the rest. We can have big plans, big dreams and big ideas. We want a dream that is just right for us and uses our gifts and talent, that we are passionate about and that gives us joy. We also need to be aware of our blind spots that get us into trouble. A coach can be a terrific support in empowering you to close that gap from where you are now to where you most want to be.
Count your successes not your failures.
Stuck on Life’s Disappointments? Time to move on and create the life you want. You can reach your goals. Whatever happened in 2014 there were both things you were pleased with and things you were not. Be realistic. Take time to appreciate and celebrate yourself for what went well. Celebrate what you did accomplish. You are worth it!