Yes, we each have a choice whether or not we choose to live life as a victim. BUT. I hear the big BUT all the time. “You just don’t understand, I really am a victim of life. You just don’t know how bad my life is.” Regardless of what is happening in your life right now you have the power to turn it around. When we are in victim mode, we give up our power to make a difference in ourselves, in our situation in life whether it is our career, our relationships or even our health and we give up our power to make a difference in the world around us. So what are seven ways we keep ourselves in victim mode?
1. We Live Life as a Victim by Playing Small.
We don’t want to rock the boat. We don’t want to upset others. We have gone on auto pilot and have accepted “our lot in life.” We don’t realize that life could be different that we could play big, We could use our gifts and talents to make a difference in ourselves and others.
2. We Live Life as a Victim by Not Asking for What we Want.
When was the last time you asked for what you really wanted instead of merely doing what others expected of you? We want to please our spouses, our parents, our teachers, our friends and our coworkers. As a coach I work with many clients who reach mid life only to realize that they are not pursuing their own dreams and goals but living out their lives to please others.
3. We Live Life as a Victim by Failing to Dream Big.
Have you ever thought about what you would most love to do? A vision that is so inspiring, that it would not only inspire you but would also in spire others? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? As Wayne Dyer says, ‘Don’t die with the music still in you.”
4. We Live Life as a Victim by Blaming Others
We blame our lot in life on others, on our parents, on our spouse, and our circumstances. Blaming others takes lots of negative energy. Blaming others drains our energy which we could use instead for what we really wanted to create in our lives.
5. We Live Life as a Victim by Believing in There is Not Enough.
When we believe that there are not enough resources or love or money to go around, we believe in scarcity thinking. If I have enough or as much as I want then I am taking from someone else. This is often referred to as win-loose thinking. If I believe that there is plenty for everyone, that I can create what I need, that there is enough for everybody then we all are in a ver different place.
6. We Live Life as a Victim by Believing that We are Not Enough.
The central problem for many of us is not feeling that we are enough. We are scared of being vulnerable, of being real. We constantly have our guard up, protecting ourselves. When we realize that we are lovable and okay just as we are, everything changes.
The key to transformation is shifting from we are not enough to believing in ourselves. Then we are no longer victims.
7. We Live Life as a Victim by Our Failure to Act.
You know what you want and you have great ideas but taking any action to make those dreams come true is just too scary. Taking action takes courage. Our fear keeps up from moving forward. We become overwhelmed and stuck. Just do one very small, micro baby step to move forward and then another. You can continue to move to your goal.
Whatever keeps you in victim mode you can change. You can be the creator of your own reality. As a coach I specialize in working with women about forty something to gain clarity in who they are and what they want in their lives and relationships and the courage and confidence to make it happen.
Your choice: you can live your life as a victim or you can step out, take charge or your life with clarity, confidence and courage and create the life you most want.