One of the quickest most effective ways to improve the quality of your relationship is to put yourself on a diet – a diet from negativity that is. Much like excluding excess fats and processed sugars can benefit your health; excluding negativity can lead to better relationships.What’s Negativity? Sarcasm, insults, blame (e.g. “YOU always..”), criticism, the “look” (you know the one), eye rolling (“Here we go again..”), a disapproving tone of voice, etc. Most of us can easily come up with a list of negative actions and words we receive from our partners, instead focus on the negative things you may do or say to your partner, family or friends. Remember, if you choose to be negative, your attitude is not your partner’s fault. You can stop the blame and criticism now.
Eliminate Blame and Criticism
Replace the blame and criticism and negativity with heartfelt gratitude and appreciations. Just as a diet plan may suggest substituting apples in for cookies, I recommend substituting heartfelt gratitude and appreciations for negativity. The next time you’re tempted to dip into the cookie jar of negativity, take a step back and tell your partner or friends something you truly appreciate about them instead. This might be hard at first, but it will get easier. Actively appreciate your partner and your friends– I believe you’ll find that once you’ve started this diet, the results will be so wonderful that you won’t want to stop! Exercise your gratitude muscles! Give appreciations daily.
Appreciate yourself, find ways to love and nurture yourself. Take a step back from the internal dialogue of self-criticism and regret, and take the time to find ways to love and nurture yourself. Spend quality time with yourself and with friends. Take time to appreciate yourself daily.
Replace Blame and Criticism with Appreciation
Giving sincere heartfelt appreciations is the quickest way to change the quality of a relationship. I invite, in fact I challenge you to show only appreciation and gratitude for thirty days. For many focusing on heartfelt appreciations creates profound changes in their relationships. You may choose to make appreciations a permanent part of your life. Let me know how it goes.